NHS Direct:   ‘NHS Direct, how can we help?’

Gvons:           ‘Yes, hello. I’m so sorry to trouble you – I wouldn’t normally ring you as it feels a bit weak-minded, but something with teeth and a determined expression has just burst from my abdomen.’

NHS Direct:   ‘Do you have acute chest pain?’

Gvons:           ‘Not as such – more of a dull ache.’

NHS Direct:   ‘Are you having trouble breathing?’

Gvons:           ‘No, surprisingly not. My lungs feel clear. Never better.’

NHS Direct:   ‘Are you dizzy?’

Gvons:           ‘Not really – more in shock, you know?’

NHS Direct:   ‘When was the last time you had fluids?’

Gvons:           ‘Oh, a couple of hours ago. A cup of tea at breakfast.’

NHS Direct:   ‘Are you having trouble going to the loo?’

Gvons:           ‘I mean, it was fine this morning. Obviously I don’t know how that would go now…’

NHS Direct:   ‘But it was ok earlier?’

Gvons:           ‘Yes, yes thanks. No problems there.’

NHS Direct:   ‘And on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is the most pain and 1 is the least pain, how would you rate your headache?’

Gvons:           ‘Actually, my head is absolutely fine. Pain free.’

NHS Direct:   ‘Well, we have rated your call as a priority 3, which means a GP should call to discuss your symptoms in 6 hours.’

Gvons:           ‘That’s very helpful, thank you so much – so sorry again to bother you.’


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